Random photos
So I thought i'd add a few new photos..In order of appearance--Michelle lying in our pool in Adelaide. The cows waiting to get milked in Penola. The crew that went to the Jenolan Caves. And our piggies doing crude acts on our campervan on our Melbourne road trip!
BLAH!
I am in a strange mood lately. It has been a quiet week and I am getting a bit restless. Not just with right now but with life in general. I am in a crazy limbo stage where NOTHING is where it will stay, everything is in transition.
I think I am staying here an extra year...but I have to wait and see if the visa situation works out.
I think I will move back to Sydney.
But I am travelling in asia in May with my brother.
I am supposed to go to France in August for the World Cup. That doesnt end till October.
Then what about working in Australia after that?
So many things that I dont know and all I really want is a bit of security. To know something for sure. Whether it is where I will live or where I will end up or who I will be going back to...I just want something definite. Only because there are none.
I wouldn't say loneliness has set in. Or insecurity.
I am fine. Just a little dazed. So many thoughts clouding up my mind that it hurts
Over the years...
...there has been a lot of drinking. Especially the past 2 years I reckon they've done the most damage to my liver. But it has been fun. So here's a tribute to all the drunken nights I have had out--in countries around the world!
Back when we were babies...Kat's 21st was such a huge night. The town of Ballyroan didn't know what hit it when I arrived!
Then fast forward a year to Sydney with Xio and the Irish lot
So many crazy nights in Jindabyne...always fun! Tammie was always willing to get drunk with me!
The Sponars crew out in full effect.
Shots shots shots shots shots shots shots!
Passion pop is always better straight out of the bottle...and in a camper van on our Melbourne road trip!
Compliments to the chef! Michelle and I were head chefs when we cooked Christmas dinner for 8 on Christmas eve 2006!
Letting go....
I feel oddly sad about finishing work today. Very strange. I thought I'd skip and jump out. Instead my eyes felt a little too moist and I lingered in the office for about a half hour.
Everyone that matters the most I will see in 4 hours anyway, we're having a huge barbeque at ours. But still....
I wont miss my desk, or my job. But the familiar faces. The smiling ones. The ones I made smile and the ones that made me smile.
That's life though--that's what its all about. Letting go. Or at least learning to do that.
I dont know if I have fully learnt HOW to let go completely, but I'm on the right track...I know that it's a lesson I need to master.
Hard one though. Because I love this city. I love these people. I love my life here.
And another important point to the lesson of letting go....you sometimes have to let go of things you really dont want to. ..
SYDNEY MY LOVE!
It's been forever since I have written. Apologies for that. I think I have lost my readers because of that which is not good so sorry for all the ''fans'' out there.
Life is great! Things are changing though and it hasnt hit me quite yet.
I leave Sydney in less than 2 weeks. My home! Ok my new home. This city feels like home though, more so than Dublin maybe. I could live here forever...
But I am leaving. To go to Adelaide and beyond. With no money in my bank account. With great friends here. With a guy here. With a job that--however boring it may be--still means money coming to me every week. With local pubs and restaurants and hang outs.
Suddenly I wonder if I want to leave at all. I'm so happy here. A few changes would be needed...a new place to live for sure, some of my flat mates are boring sods. I actually avoid coming home to them. A new job because more money is needed and this job is just not worth it. But other than those minor details, I could stay. Everything could stay the same and I would be happy. Obviously there would be progress but in general, life here is good.
I can feel the tears ready to come already. I can count on my fingers how many time I have cried in the last year since being away. Leaving Will, leaving Hobes, and a few other minor emotional incidents along the way. For the first time I will cry for a city. And so many friends. And relationships being left, and relationships which never even started. For the millions of moments which put a smile on my face.
I'll miss this city. I'll cry for it. I'll long for it. And hopefully, I'll return to it...
THE ROAD TRIP
So here's the latest update on my adventures! Michelle and I bored at work one day decided we'd take a road trip, so off we went. We rented a camper van and took off on a 12 hour drive to Melbourne.
Now I must say Michelle and I make the worst possible combination as travel buddies...simply because we are both trouble makers. From getting complaints from our neighbours, getting questioned by police, stealing chairs from restaurants when we are drunk and on our way home, even insisting on making our own pizza at our local pizza place...we always get up to some sort of trouble, especially while drunk.
So we get our van and drive back to Bondi, load it with alcohol and junk food, and hit the road. We didnt really think we would need a map. Big mistake. It takes us 2 hours to get out of sydney. Finally on the highway we hit the gas...and hear police sirens. Thankfully they were pulling over someone else, we've had enough encounters with sydney police already. As we pass through toll bridge Michelle gets in the wrong lane and goes through the prepaid lane...so we have to call up and pay a fine! The trip was doomed from the start!
After about 9 hours of driving we were going to stay at a campsite, it was 11 pm and we were very tired and had our fill of stopping off at every McDonalds along the way. So we pick a nice looking site from the camping book that came with our van. We pull off the highway, drive round in circles...no campsite. So back on the highway, start drivign to the next one--and last one--on the map before we hit melbourne. It was a truck stop. Literally a lane on the side of the highway with all teh truckers. I couldnt help thinking about Wolf Creek and we both knew we wouldnt sleep, so we hopped back in the car and found another place about 10 minutes later. The same sort of thing, a trucker stop, but a little less creepy. We climbed into the back, saying we probably wouldnt sleep but we had to stop drivign for a while. Within two minutes we are both fast asleep. We wake up with the sun beating down, all the trucks gone...we slept till 9 am.
So we spend the next day seeing the sights of Melbourne and staying at a real campsite. The next day we head for the Great Ocean Road. One of the best drives in the world apparently. It was really cool and amazing weather for it. We saw the lighthouse from Around the Twist, that show we used to watch when we were kids. We walked up to is singing the theme song (have you ever, ever felt like this...when strange things happen, are you going round the twist!) Funniest moment was getting to the main attraction--the 12 apostles--around 5 pm. We had seen *AMAZING* pictures of it at sun set, so we decide to get into our van and wait for the sun to go down. one hour...two hours....three hours...finally the sun sets at about 8 pm. We run back to them only to see the sun setting NO WHERE NEAR the bloody rocks. So we have to laugh because what else can we do. We get back in to our van and drive back to Torquay...on old country roads with no phone reception, running low on petrol, no houses in site. Typical. We roll in with the petrol lamp on.
We visit Bells Beach the next day, home of surfing in Australia...on our way home that night we hear a surfer got attacked by a shark. Good thing we cant surf. Then after searching for Brighton Beach we finally found it, snapped some pics and had to head back home. A 11 hour drive in 36 degree heat with no air conditioning...not fun. But the trip as a whole was great! I miss our camper van!
Every Day Problems
So much is going on in my life right now. I am so sick of just having a negative aura around me. But that is all there is. There is negativity inside of me and that is all I feel I exert. I just cant get back to being happy and care free.
I know this will change though.
I am going on a road trip for a few days tomorrow, so a change of scenery will be very good for me.
I just need a break away from the same old people that I see every day, email everday, think about every day...
