I got so old just wondering how
I never got cold wearing nothing in the snow.
-The Shins
I was going to post all the lyrics to Caring is Creepy by the Shins but I didnt want them all to overshadow this quote.
I have been gone for the past few days...I've still been here, but gone. I've been thinking. I haven't really figured anything out, I've just needed to be quiet, to be with myself. But today those words made me think....How much of my actual life do I spend thinking? How many hours have I sat around feeling sorry for myself? I am trying to analyze my life, trying to see where the happiness was lost. I am trying to figure out what happened to all those feelings...and my life is passing me by as I feel sorry for myself. These words just made me realize that I'm wasting my time wondering about what makes me happy. I dont know if that makes any sense to anyone else.
I think I have bigger problems than I want to let on. I used to be so happy, I used to love life, love myself. I dont hate it now, I just dont seem to care. It's been about two months now...probably a month after I came back after the summer I just slumped...and I haven't seemed to pick myself up...which is strange for me. I dont feel like myself anymore. I have NEVER been depressed for so long...I am starting to think something might be wrong with me...but everytime I go to talk about it, everytime I want to mention it it's like I chicken out. I stop and think there's nothing wrong with me...I dont know if there isn't, or if I am just chickening out. I wrote about it in a blog already, but didnt publish it...I guess avoiding it...maybe this one wont get published....
Maybe life is just supposed to be this empty every once in a while?
posted by Oreo @ 8:48 PM
2 Comments:
oh.. we call it the "twenty-something" syndrome...lol ask spoon
Oreo - life isnt supposed to be all roses and candy, but it isnt supposed to be about emptiness. I suffered from an anxiety disorder for nearly four years and I was a normal, professional, young woman who outwardly appeared on top of the world. But I am now also living proof that life goes on regardless of whatever diagnosis one may received. After four years of proper treatment and a whole change of perspective, each day now seem a lot brighter. Keep your chin up - k
Post a Comment
<< Home