Splashing In Puddles of Sand

Scratch Deeper!

Scratch a cynic deep enough and you'll find a bruised hopeless romantic

That's my quote for the day. I'd never heard it before but I guess it sums me up. I love the idea of love, I love the thought or having someone out there who will love you forever and the second you meet everything will be happier ever after. But how often does that happen? Never. I guess failed love has left me cynical. Even succesful love has left me cynical. haha.

So far all I've gotten from failed relationships is the idea that love might just be there when you want to believe it's there. How many times do you think you loved someone...till it ended and you realize you were wrong. You weren't wronged you just FOOLED yourself! You let yourself believe what you want to believe...and when it's all over you tell yourself you were wrong so you don't ruin the hope that love could be out there, that it is out there somewhere.

Brian's probably the only man who's gotten to know my hopeless romantic side...even though he was more of a romantic than I was. I guess sometimes I have to fight off the cynic in me and let myself love...and be loved. But then again, it's easier not to. It's easier to be a cynic. Because the second you let yourself be loved you let yourself be hurt.

I guess I have no interest in men any more because I'm still getting over the last bruises...which were somewhat self-inflicted. But maybe there is hope. Brian and I are actually making the just friends thing work--second time around. And I love having him in my life....I just had to fight love off. Maybe because I'm a cynic. Maybe because I'm a commitment phobe. Maybe because I'm just stupid.

But in true hopless romantic style, I believe that if it's supposed to be then it will all work out in the end :)

posted by Oreo @ 9:03 PM