Letting go....
I feel oddly sad about finishing work today. Very strange. I thought I'd skip and jump out. Instead my eyes felt a little too moist and I lingered in the office for about a half hour.
Everyone that matters the most I will see in 4 hours anyway, we're having a huge barbeque at ours. But still....
I wont miss my desk, or my job. But the familiar faces. The smiling ones. The ones I made smile and the ones that made me smile.
That's life though--that's what its all about. Letting go. Or at least learning to do that.
I dont know if I have fully learnt HOW to let go completely, but I'm on the right track...I know that it's a lesson I need to master.
Hard one though. Because I love this city. I love these people. I love my life here.
And another important point to the lesson of letting go....you sometimes have to let go of things you really dont want to. ..
SYDNEY MY LOVE!
It's been forever since I have written. Apologies for that. I think I have lost my readers because of that which is not good so sorry for all the ''fans'' out there.
Life is great! Things are changing though and it hasnt hit me quite yet.
I leave Sydney in less than 2 weeks. My home! Ok my new home. This city feels like home though, more so than Dublin maybe. I could live here forever...
But I am leaving. To go to Adelaide and beyond. With no money in my bank account. With great friends here. With a guy here. With a job that--however boring it may be--still means money coming to me every week. With local pubs and restaurants and hang outs.
Suddenly I wonder if I want to leave at all. I'm so happy here. A few changes would be needed...a new place to live for sure, some of my flat mates are boring sods. I actually avoid coming home to them. A new job because more money is needed and this job is just not worth it. But other than those minor details, I could stay. Everything could stay the same and I would be happy. Obviously there would be progress but in general, life here is good.
I can feel the tears ready to come already. I can count on my fingers how many time I have cried in the last year since being away. Leaving Will, leaving Hobes, and a few other minor emotional incidents along the way. For the first time I will cry for a city. And so many friends. And relationships being left, and relationships which never even started. For the millions of moments which put a smile on my face.
I'll miss this city. I'll cry for it. I'll long for it. And hopefully, I'll return to it...
