Splashing In Puddles of Sand

EZ Smiling///NZ Calling?

Sometimes it is so easy to smile, other times, it feels like a chore. I miss days when I used to practically skip down the street because I was so happy. Or times when I would break out into a smile or laughter when I was all on my own, and people on the street would look at me as if I was pyshco.

Today I smiled at a stranger just because. Just because I didn't want to smile. Just because it was the morning. Just because I wanted to brighten someone else's day up. When I did it I realized something...I used to ALWAYS smile at strangers. I used to always break out into laughter on my own. I used to be HAPPY. What is wrong with me now then? It's back to all being in my head.

I guess for a while I started to feel down...and ever since, I've ALLOWED myself to be sad. I let myself stop smiling. I allow me to feel sorry for myself. I want to mope around. But that's it. I'm sick of it. Life isn't fun when you think the worst all the time. So now it's time to fool myself into being happy. It wont be the first time I did it and it probably wont be the last. But it works. And I liked my fake happiness more than my fake sadness. If you let yourself be happy, the world seems so much brighter.

Ok that's my EZ Smiling section out of the way. As for NZ Calling...today I was thinking about maybe heading to New Zealand. Me and my crazy ideas, right? Well New Zealand seems like a far-enough place to run away from everything. And everyone. My brother and sister are driving me crazy today...so I just want out. So maybe come February I'll be blogging from the other side of the equator...maybe......

posted by Oreo @ 8:07 PM