Splashing In Puddles of Sand

Missing in a Void

So I have been gone for a few days...life has been busy lately, I feel like I never have blog-time. My friend Kat has been staying with me for the past 2 weeks so I've been spending a lot of time with her...she just found a place to live and will be moving in this week which should give me more time....


I am sad today. For various reasons....

Ireland lost a rugby match against Australia today. It was just a friendly...but I feel bad about it-I'm a loyal fan.

I went out last night and met someone. But there were a lot of things that didnt feel right and a lot of things I was confused about. Things used to be so easy when I would go out, I would go and have fun and meet guys and I never thought about the way things felt...now I think I am caught in the 'relationship trap'...I am so used to going out and having my man and not even looking at other people that now I dont know what I want and what I am looking for. The last thing I am looking for is another relationship but at the same time I dont just want one night stands and meaningless nights....see my dilemma? And I dont want to be alone because I feel like I need to move on, and I cant move on till I start seeing other people, no matter how meaningless it is, but I dont know if I want to bother with the meaninglessness. I really know how to create dilemmas for myself.

And now I think I am freaking out about my trip. I still haven't booked anything cuz I am waiting to hear from a friend I am supposed to go to Asia with. But today I had no one to go watch the match with and Rog kicked me out cuz he was watching a soccer match at home, and I really didnt want to go watch it on my own...now I wonder if I cant watch a 2 hour rugby match on my own how am I going to be ok with 2 months alone? Then again I know it's weird being in my own city alone whereas I woudl feel differently being somewhere new alone, if that makes any sense...and I think today I'm in one of those moods where I just dont want to be alone...at least not alone around crowds of people.

Anyway, I hardly got any sleep last night and I have a bit of a hangover and to cure it I kept drinking today so I probably need to just think a little less and I will be fine...

posted by Oreo @ 6:09 PM