Lost In Translation
I just watched Lost In Translation...if you've never watched it, then go watch it now! It's one of those love it or hate it movies. I hadn't seen it since it was in the cinema...over a year ago I think. I connected with it straight away but I had sort of forgotten why, until I watched it again today. LONELINESS!!! I love how their lives are so static, so boring, so just...stuck in nothing. That's how I feel now...so I guess it gives me hope that I'll get out of it :) hehe.I've been planning my trip a bit more today! I must admit I havent done much planning, just more thinking about it because I cant commit :) But I am realizing that little by little all my thoughts are forming into plans. I feel a lot of things about this trip. I feel scared, anxious, excited, petrified, exstatic, doubtful, anticipation, confusion, more doubt, reluctance, positivity, hesitance, reassurance...
It's just a whole lot of swirling doubt in my head. But on one hand I have commited to it. I feel like I need to do this. I am totally lost in life and I have no idea where I want to end up but getting away will change my perspective, and I really need that. So yes, it would be AMAZING to have one of my best friend's by my side for the whole trip, someone to experience things with, someone to laugh with, someone to lean on, someone to make me smile. But there will be other people who will do that...that's something I'm coming to grips with. I think one thing I am learning though is that not only will I have to go alone, maybe the whole point of my situation is that I need to go alone. I need to do this for my future. I've travelled a lot in my life, I have met a lot of cool people and I have friends from a million different places, I know about cultures and languages and societies....but I've never done this. I have never depended on myself 100%. And I think it'll open my eyes up to other people, to the world, to myself. I'm not going away to get drunk and party...I'm sure it'll happen, but if I wanted that I'd go to some cheesy resort in Ibiza or Southern Spain. I'm going to (without sounding to new-age) find myself. Not even find myself, just understand myself. I thought I knew myself pretty well, but all this future stuff is clogging my head and I think I need to get away from
So when I am strong and I look forward to my trip I get excited. Other times, I feel petrified and I try to change my mind but I know I cant. I havent got anything in stone yet, no flights, no real plans, but in my head I've made the decision to go no matter what my emotions decide...and that's that. This is one decision I WILL keep! I've pretty much chosen a date I want to leave on as well! So that's that...I am going away...even if I want to chicken out!
posted by Oreo @ 10:57 PM
2 Comments:
Now that is the Oreo I like to read about. You've made the decision. Now celebrate it. Tell the world. Tell every person you meet!!!
Dont get lost in your own translation. Dont go looking for anything particular. Life doesnt dish out answers that easily. As I say, if it were that easy, everyone would do it. It just shows how special you really are.
p.s yes, I am still going away in march. am trying not to announce it on my webpage too loudly and too overtly, as I still have contractual obligations to abide by for work :)
i hated it actually...
but maybe if i saw it again, it would not be as bad...
now that i think about it, that's exactly how i've felt being in korea... completely lost in translation in a country that's supposed to be my own...i think i've found myself this year...
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